fandoms as old boyfriends
Aug. 1st, 2011 03:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_ragnarokI think this was a meme, back in the days of yore.
- Pokemon: The fannish equivalent of the boy whom you sent love notes in 3rd grade. Very silly affair, with me acting so shy he never even knew I was there. (I don't know if I even posted any of the fic I wrote online. I tried to hunt it when I was making the Big Transfer to AO3, but couldn't recall what name I used back then.)
- Queer as Folk (US): The one you had an UNIMAGINABLY EPIC CRUSH ON... and then you got to know him and he broke your heart. I loved the first season to bits, but then the next season destroyed all possibility for my OTP (Michael/Brian) and I gave up in disinterest and turned to reading a shitload of Stuart/Vince instead. YEAH UK YOU DID IT RIGHT.
- The Sentinel: The one your friends hooked you up with because you were moping and lonely. And then everything was fantastic for a while - his friends are so clever and he's so loving and gentle and his dark side is so mysteriously appealing! Swoon! You're together for years, and even when the first flush wears off, well, he's still pretty amazing, isn't he? And more to the point, you can't leave him. Would you honestly rather be alone?
In hindsight, you look at your relationship and realize it was full to the brim of fucked-up politics, that even his friends were trying to tell you that and you weren't paying attention.
Still. Good times. You sort of miss him to this day, and you still smile and nod if you meet by chance. You've met a lot of good people through him, and he's really not a bad person. Just. Not really what you thought he was.
- Temeraire: One-night stand. But a pretty fucking awesome one. (never actually wrote anything, but man, I love those books and some of the fic and art they've spawned.)
- The Authority: One-night stand that you wish turned into something more, but it didn't pan out.
- Andromeda: The crush from Crush City. SO HOT. Except, in the end, you didn't really know him at all, and by the time you got close enough to think about something serious he'd turned out all sorts of fucked up. You're just kind of happy you got away in time. (never watched the show. that's kind of a constant with me and media fandoms that aren't like, a movie. wrote one fic, which had more misspellings than plot.)
- SGA: You met him through your friends, and holy fuck, you were kind of perfect for each other. He is seriously everything you've ever wanted, smart and funny and hot and did I mention SMART? Holy math porn, batman. You drool just watching him go.
Sure, around his family he's kind of a dick, but his friends? Okay, first of all he's got a shitload of them, and secondly FUCK THEY'RE AMAZING. you want to be them when you grow up. they end up teaching you so much, by example and by mentioning it in passing, and...
In fact, you're so busy admiring him and his friends that you never say anything. By the time you move on, you have the uncomfortable realization that none of them knew you were even there.
You still have a friends-with-benefits thing with him, and every now and then you look back and wonder why it never became anything more. It was so right. Whatever happened to it and you?
(never watched the show, adored the fic but never wrote any. things I learned about from SGA fandom include social justice basics, the Banach-Tarski paradox, that Mendelssohn wrote the most beautiful violin music ever, and that you can write fanfic that doesn't just transcend the source but takes it in a million directions from horror to comedy to a dark SF dystopia without ever leaving cannon.)
- Inception: It started off as a one-night stand. Really it did. But it was SO FUCKING GOOD that you just knew you'll be coming back for more. And you did, over and over.
He's not really your type, except for how he's exactly your type. He's the muscled bearded dude with the motorcycle, and you never went for those, except it turns out he also reads poetry and laughs at stupid math jokes and treats you like a person and you sort of go weak at the knees every time he's around.
His friends... well, they're my friends now. And they look even more amazing from close up. ♥
The only thing is that - can fandoms be husband material? Does it work like that? Aren't fandoms, by their very nature, transitory things? Can anyone say that they've been in fandom X for twenty years straight? Because I've always been the marrying sort, about pretty much everything. I want to stay forever in places where I'm happy.
- Pokemon: The fannish equivalent of the boy whom you sent love notes in 3rd grade. Very silly affair, with me acting so shy he never even knew I was there. (I don't know if I even posted any of the fic I wrote online. I tried to hunt it when I was making the Big Transfer to AO3, but couldn't recall what name I used back then.)
- Queer as Folk (US): The one you had an UNIMAGINABLY EPIC CRUSH ON... and then you got to know him and he broke your heart. I loved the first season to bits, but then the next season destroyed all possibility for my OTP (Michael/Brian) and I gave up in disinterest and turned to reading a shitload of Stuart/Vince instead. YEAH UK YOU DID IT RIGHT.
- The Sentinel: The one your friends hooked you up with because you were moping and lonely. And then everything was fantastic for a while - his friends are so clever and he's so loving and gentle and his dark side is so mysteriously appealing! Swoon! You're together for years, and even when the first flush wears off, well, he's still pretty amazing, isn't he? And more to the point, you can't leave him. Would you honestly rather be alone?
In hindsight, you look at your relationship and realize it was full to the brim of fucked-up politics, that even his friends were trying to tell you that and you weren't paying attention.
Still. Good times. You sort of miss him to this day, and you still smile and nod if you meet by chance. You've met a lot of good people through him, and he's really not a bad person. Just. Not really what you thought he was.
- Temeraire: One-night stand. But a pretty fucking awesome one. (never actually wrote anything, but man, I love those books and some of the fic and art they've spawned.)
- The Authority: One-night stand that you wish turned into something more, but it didn't pan out.
- Andromeda: The crush from Crush City. SO HOT. Except, in the end, you didn't really know him at all, and by the time you got close enough to think about something serious he'd turned out all sorts of fucked up. You're just kind of happy you got away in time. (never watched the show. that's kind of a constant with me and media fandoms that aren't like, a movie. wrote one fic, which had more misspellings than plot.)
- SGA: You met him through your friends, and holy fuck, you were kind of perfect for each other. He is seriously everything you've ever wanted, smart and funny and hot and did I mention SMART? Holy math porn, batman. You drool just watching him go.
Sure, around his family he's kind of a dick, but his friends? Okay, first of all he's got a shitload of them, and secondly FUCK THEY'RE AMAZING. you want to be them when you grow up. they end up teaching you so much, by example and by mentioning it in passing, and...
In fact, you're so busy admiring him and his friends that you never say anything. By the time you move on, you have the uncomfortable realization that none of them knew you were even there.
You still have a friends-with-benefits thing with him, and every now and then you look back and wonder why it never became anything more. It was so right. Whatever happened to it and you?
(never watched the show, adored the fic but never wrote any. things I learned about from SGA fandom include social justice basics, the Banach-Tarski paradox, that Mendelssohn wrote the most beautiful violin music ever, and that you can write fanfic that doesn't just transcend the source but takes it in a million directions from horror to comedy to a dark SF dystopia without ever leaving cannon.)
- Inception: It started off as a one-night stand. Really it did. But it was SO FUCKING GOOD that you just knew you'll be coming back for more. And you did, over and over.
He's not really your type, except for how he's exactly your type. He's the muscled bearded dude with the motorcycle, and you never went for those, except it turns out he also reads poetry and laughs at stupid math jokes and treats you like a person and you sort of go weak at the knees every time he's around.
His friends... well, they're my friends now. And they look even more amazing from close up. ♥
The only thing is that - can fandoms be husband material? Does it work like that? Aren't fandoms, by their very nature, transitory things? Can anyone say that they've been in fandom X for twenty years straight? Because I've always been the marrying sort, about pretty much everything. I want to stay forever in places where I'm happy.
