the_ragnarok | this is gav's fault. and effie's. both indirectly, though.

This post is so dangerous because I want you to write all the things and yet cannot think of anything specific.

SO

HOW ABOUT MORE STORIES WHERE EAMES AND ARTHUR ARE SECRETLY MARRIED. AKA A MILLION ZILLION SQUILLION HAPPY-ENDINGS-VERSE CODAS. LIKE THE ONE WHERE THEY GO DANCING FOR SOME TOTALLY POINTLESS REASON. OR THE ONE WHERE ARTHUR'S MASSAGE SKILLS SOMEHOW COME IN USEFUL FOR A JOB (OR COBB IS LIKE, "WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT MASSAGES, ARTHUR???") OR MAYBE JUST THOUSANDS OF WORDS ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN IT IS TO WEAR A WELL-FITTING WAISTCOAT AND HOW ARTHUR LIKES EAMES TO BUTTON THEM UP FOR HIM IN THE MORNING SO HE CAN FEELING IT PRESSING GENTLY INTO HIS DIAPHRAGM ALL DAY EVEN THOUGH HE AND EAMES ARE PRETENDING TO DETEST ONE ANOTHER AT WORK. EXCEPT WHEN THEY DRIVE LIKE TWENTY BLOCKS AWAY FROM THEIR WORKPLACE IN ORDER TO HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER AND PLAY FOOTSIE UNDER THE TABLE.

EXCEPT WHEN THEY DRIVE LIKE TWENTY BLOCKS AWAY FROM THEIR WORKPLACE IN ORDER TO HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER AND PLAY FOOTSIE UNDER THE TABLE.

OH MY GOSH THIS!

WHEN ARTHUR SHOWS UP FIVE MINUTES AFTER EAMES, EAMES HAS ALREADY ORDERED FOR HIM AND ARTHUR JUST SMOOTHLY SITS DOWN AND TAKES HIS JACKET OFF AND THEY SIT OUTSIDE IN THE SUN AND EAMES, IDK, ADMIRES HIS WRISTS AND THEY TALK ABOUT THE CHEMIST'S ANNOYING OBSESSION WITH AYN RAND WHILE THEY WAIT FOR THEIR FOOD TO ARRIVE. AND ARTHUR RUNS THE POINTED END OF ONE OF HIS SHOES UP AND DOWN EAMES' CALF.

...is it bad that my favorite thing in this is the Ayn Rand obsession? also YES. although maybe, idk, not footsie but something else? covert wrist-touching? "you have something on your shirt" followed by - or, wait, no, A rolling E's sleeves up for him because he does it so sloppily it makes A's eyes hurt? (only reason! really! :D)

do you know what would be awesome? if eames just like, ended up goading Ayn Rand Chemist because he finds it funny and doesn't have much prep work to do for this job and thus is bored. so basically he's just being a jackass and infuriating arthur and then AFTERWARDS arthur will be like, WHY ARE YOU ENCOURAGING THIS because he can't see other peoples' point of view, whereas eames absolutely understands everyone's point of view because he is a forger and therefore is fascinated by Ayn Rand Chemist. etc etc

YESSSSSS, ARTHUR ROLLING UP EAMES' SLEEVES FOR HIM BEFORE HE INJECTS HIM. OR SOMETHING. or just the two of them having an argument for show at work so everyone is like, JEEZ, WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GET ALONG, except all the while they are bickering eames is helping arthur with his work and so on, like they are TALKING like they are fighting but in fact eames is handing arthur all the tools he requires to make his model for the second level of the dream, or arthur is making a list of all the stuff eames is going to need to learn by friday and then post-it-noting it all over eames' notebook.

gav, I swear you're writing this better than I ever could. ♥ YES to arguing while being helpful. it's their way! it's not even for show, they just get ENTHUSIASTIC and VEHEMENT about things, so sometimes there's some yelling, so what? and they're as touchy-feely as they reasonably could be - maybe shoving each other around a little, just for EMPHASIS.

and, see, E both enjoys tweaking Ayn Rand chemist (whose name is now Geoffrey, he's a very decent person really, he just has, like, OBJECTIVIST RELIGION or something) and the way A TWITCHES whenever he does. ♥ bc A is all trying to be FORMAL and SERIOUS and E wants a reaction, ok, and if he tries to get A to show affection he WILL and then look all guilty and miserable and E can't STAND that. so yeah. TWEAKING.

LIES.

it's kind of ridiculous that everyone just interprets as dislike. i admit i don't particularly like it when some outside-POV character ~~notices someone's secret relationship through some kind of sixth sense and is all knowing and ~~feminine intuition. THIS DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE VERY MUCH, GUYS. but yes. eames and arthur love professional debate.

UGH AMAZING. and like, towards the end of the job eames stops teasing the chemist because it is starting to GENUINELY piss arthur off. so eames drag arthur up to the roof one time just so they can have a five-minute makeout break and he can slide his hands inside arthur's waistcoat and calm him down a little.

...damn it, now I have FOUR HE ficlets I want to write. this could be, like, their first job, the one in San Fransisco. and E flirts w. their extractor and keeps stopping, guiltily, because he thinks A will be offended. meanwhile, A is busy googling internet arguments to why Objectivism is WRONG. :DDD

also everyone is TERRIFIED of A, bc E is known in the business as a HARD MOTHERFUCKER and here comes this kid, out of nowhere, they say he comes from a long line of secret agents (and they're kinda right), and he keeps YELLING at E and E just LETS him, shit, A must be a scary mofo. (AND HE REALLY IS.) if you give me something UTTERLY BADASS for A to do in a dream, I'll have everything I need for this. <3

(E's guilt is important, so as to hook it into the Other Thing. y.)

HAHA AMAZING. EAMES IS ALL INSECURE ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND CONCERNED THAT ARTHUR WILL BE ANGRY THAT HE IS FLIRTING. And, like you said, Arthur does not notice even a little bit because he is busy constructing a vast thesis as to why Annoyingly Earnest Geoffrey is wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

UGH YES SO BAMFY. Eames is kind of scary to a lot of extraction type people because he's so self-serving and unpredictable and less wary of, uh, mortal peril. Like he's from 1934 and hasn't heard of health and safety. BUT ALONG COMES ARTHUR AND ARTHUR TOTALLY SLAPS HIM DOWN ALL THE TIME.

ohhh like in a dream they are in a multi-storey car-park and the extractor is about to be attacked by projections like ten floors down. eames tosses arthur some rope and between them they secure it round one of the columns and arthur just jumps down ten floors, using the rope to break his fall by swinging it round a column further down and leaping off a the last possible moment of the arc of movement, dropping and rolling and showing up like 3 seconds before the projections do.

this because i just saw a picture of a mult-storey car park while i was looking for suit pics. :/

yes! because E's safety is IMPORTANT to A! he FROWNS MIGHTILY when E wants to take stupid risks.

"This is why it'll work."
"No, this is why you're STUPID. try this, you will only break several bones and collapse the dream."
"do you have a better suggestion?"
"suppose I could do it."
(while all the rest of the team watches all 0_o)
and A doesn't break ANYTHING bc. idk. DREAMS > PHYSICS. and E has to strongly restrain his urge to drop to his knees and nuzzle Arthur's crotch, and has to content himself with wiping a stray bloodstain from Arthur's cheek with his pocket square. (E: wearing pocketsquare so to have an excuse to touch A ♥)

it's like you're tapping directly into my id. EAMES. WEARING POCKET SQUARES. IN ORDER TO MOP UP ARTHUR'S BLOOD WHEN HE DOES SOMETHING UNBEARABLY BADASS. what is this feeling............................................

ARTHUR DEFEATS PHYSICS; EAMES LOOKS ON IN AWE = OTP. and this ties in perfectly with eames' utter inability to understand what mal and cobb were saying when they taught arthur how to build. eames is just like, BUT WHERE DID THAT DOOR COME FROM, and arthur is like, THE WALL. LOOK, JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY, WHEN THE ELEVATOR REACHES THE THIRD FLOOR THAT ENTIRE WALL IS GOING TO CAVE IN.

haha what WOULD be funny would be if eames repeatedly does stuff like wipe blood of arthur's cheek or something and arthur looks INCREDIBLY ANNOYED BY IT so it only EMPHASISES how much arthur dislikes him and how eames likes to annoy him. or maybe one of their team members just assumes that arthur is very mildly homophobic in a very american kind of way and eames is taking advantage of that fact for LULZ. meanwhile, arthur is like, STOP DISTRACTING ME WITH ATTRACTIVENESS, DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WITH YOUR TIME -- ?

MILLION ZILLION SQUILLION HAPPY-ENDINGS-VERSE CODAS

all my next three things are HE ^_^

THE ONE WHERE ARTHUR'S MASSAGE SKILLS SOMEHOW COME IN USEFUL FOR A JOB

...and the 2nd 1 is the one where E gets captured and A goes UNDERCOVER as a crime-lord's masseuse to get him out.

ARTHUR LIKES EAMES TO BUTTON THEM UP FOR HIM IN THE MORNING SO HE CAN FEELING IT PRESSING GENTLY INTO HIS DIAPHRAGM ALL DAY

sgawghsakgjha ok now I want this. bad. give me fashion inspiration, gav!

I LOVE ALL OF THOSE NEXT THREE THINGS DANA.

also: UNDERCOVER CRIME, HOW COULD I RESIST THIS. KSDFJA;KLF YES PLEASE.

HIS LEGS GO ON FOREVER. my god it's full of PANTS :DDD and yeah, there won't be much actual crime bc I'm BAD AT IT OK, but there will be A going around in tight jeans and floppy hair and oil-slick hands and E ANGUISHING bc he can't touch him (and also bc he was a dick, but nevermind).

WHO CARES, WHATEVS. ARTHUR IS WEARING HIS STUPID JEANS ETC AND ARIADNE IS LIKE, "DO YOU HATE THIS?" AND EVERYONE ASSUMES THAT NOT WEARNIG A SUIT IS LIKE SUPER DIFFICULT FOR ARTHUR BUT HELLO, HE WASN'T ACTUALLY BORN IN DUNHILL, YOU KNOW. and eames is wildly jealous of the totally sexless work arthur is doing for the crime boss because in his mind massages are inextricably linked with sexy beautiful arthurness so even though he KNOWS that the evil crime boss is straight, he is still like, ---- BUT ARTHUR IS TOUCHING HIM WITH HIS HANDS -- ! and glowering into his coffee in the mornings when arthur reports back. eames is posing as a night club bouncer or security guard or something.

hee! the thing I meant to write is early-relationship and just them. synopsis :

A and E fight over a job E shouldn't take, except A never realizes it WAS a fight, E just stormed off in a huff. then E gets captured (he really SHOULDN'T have taken the job, he was just doing it to show he wasn't whipped) and A comes to rescue him while E ANGUISHES. and then it's like "you came for me!" "you thought I wouldn't?" "well, after that fight..." "....what fight? o_0"

...so yeah.

YESSSSSSSSS. amazeballs.

ALSO ALSO ALSO

A is so anxious before their first job together. so E buttons him up and puts gell in his hair to make him look PROFESSIONAL and A is like OK NOW YOU so they groom each other into perfection. (that fic where E is constantly rumpled bc he's pining for A to ~groom him has become my headcanon, ok.)

OH. MY GOD.

NOW HE IS READY.

i am so there, dude. so there.

and people are like.... what is UP with you two? why are you wearing a fucking tie?? like in helenish's fic where some dude is like, "you two kind of dress alike, did you know that? is it Formal Friday and no one told me??"

this is gav's fault. and effie's. both indirectly, though.

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